Pt: "Busker?"
Nurse: "No doctor"
Pt (looking at me): "So you're a busker...?"
Me: "No, DOCTOR"
Pt: "Oh I did wonder why a busker was coming to see me..."
Consultant: "I'm afraid you have a new diagnosis of diabetes."
Pt: "Oh piss off!"
Elderly pt, Mr H's wife on the phone: "Can you give him a message?"
Me: "Yeah of course"
Mr H's wife: "Can you tell him, I still love him, even though he's a silly old bugger"
Me: "Umm.... ok, if you're sure...?"
Mr H's wife: "Yes, say it just like that"
...
Me (shouting as deaf): "Hi Mr H, I've just had your wife on the phone... she was asking how you're doing and she had a message for you..."
Mr H: "Oh yes?"
Me: "Um... well sorry, she made me promise I'd say this... she says "She still loves you, even though you're a silly old bugger!"
Mr H: "Ho ho ho well tell her I still love her, even though she's a silly old cow!"
