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At the end of a very long weekend I had the most hilarious referral from the walk in centre. The GP phoned up v concerned that the pt had "really severe pain in her vagina" that was "so bad she was doubled up in pain". I was v annoyed when she walked onto the ward, clearly not in v much pain at all... I took her into the examination room to find out what had been going on. Turns out she had some hip pain, radiating into her groin (she had arthritis) and had put her arthritis muscle cream on her groin (bum up to genitals) and which had been very very painful and made it go very red. Turns out the cream was capsaicin - the main ingredient comes from chillis! She'd basically rubbed chilli cream in her bits and then wondered why it hurt so much!!
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Escaped patient has a seizure outside our house. Bystander 1 calls an ambulance: "...there are 3 doctors with him now..."
Bystander 2: "And I'm a first aider!"
Patient begins to come round...
Bystander 1: "Don't worry mate, you've got 3 doctors here looking after you"
Bystander 2: "And I'm a first aider!!"
Bloody first aiders! Think we might have stolen her thunder a bit...
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